I think it’s got to the point in my life I feel that I deserve some real, true and long-lasting happiness in my life. I’m not talking about fleeting ecstatic happiness, I’m talking about some long-term, sustained positive fulfillment about me, my family and my relationships.
The guy at work is asked me out on a date and I’m feeling really positive about it. I have absolutely no idea where I would fit a new man into my life, but I suppose it’s the same with anything else, if you really want something then you will sacrifice the smaller things, the less important things in order to fit the better things in. Well I hope that is the case anyway.
Today my friend called round as well. She was ecstatic to hear about me going on the date and was very pleased that I’m moving on with my life as she knows the trouble I had with getting rid of the last guy.
But she has issues bless her. We talked about ages and she cried a bit. I think she really needs to get some proper psychological support to talk through the issues she has. I’m not going to go into them here, it’s not because you know her, but I don’t feel it’s my place to discuss other people’s problems when this is all about my own.
In other news, the MacBook is back. The retina screen replacement has been done and everything is as it was. It’s pathetic that I’m so attached to this piece of digital trash, but it is now an outlet and tapping away on my phone is not satisfied.
My life is insanely confusing at the moment and I’m struggling to make sense of it, but in my heart and soul, if you believe in all that sort of stuff, I do believe that my family and friends are going to be there for me every step of the way. And I am now harboring a slight hope that my new man, if he turns out to be my new man, will be the person of always wanted in my life.
But don’t worry, even though I do attach myself to material goods such as my MacBook, I am going to be very wary about attaching myself to a new man. All my defenses are up, and I will not be giving myself away lightly.